Dear Miss Havana: My wife has changed since she got ‘the change’. She’s mean, inhospitable, hates sex and probably hates me even more. She has also become scatterbrained. Crap! How many middle-aged women does it take to change a light bulb anyway? Can anything be done? Sincerely, Frustrated.
Dear Frustrated: By ‘got the change’, I assume you mean menopause, but to answer your first question, one and only one. And to answer your second question, yes something can be done—you can help! Let me enlighten you as to why it takes only one menopausal woman to change a light bulb? Because no one else in the frigging house knows how or will. In fact, most men will sit in the dark for days before they’ll get off their fat ass to change the damn thing, assuming they could find the bulbs. The fact that they've been in the same place for the past twenty years doesn’t seem to register! If by some miracle they actually did find them, two days later the chair they dragged to stand on to change the stupid thing would still be in the same spot! And underneath it would be the wrapper for the freaking bulb because no one ever picks up a damn thing or carries out the trash! And don’t even get me started on who changes the toilet paper! Sincerely, Miss Havana.