Barefoot and Pregnant

Dear Miss Havana: My wife spends a lot of much time looking at porn. I don’t think that’s healthy, and definitely not something a good Quaker should be doing. There are chores to do. How can I stop her disgusting habit. Thank you for your help. Piously Offended

Dear Pious: When you hike your leg to claim ownership, you are pissing away your only chance of making your relationship work. Lose the ego. Your wife likes men, she likes to look at them, and she may actually begin attracting a few. That’s as natural as breathing and you can’t do a thing about it. The only thing you can change is yourself. Start by meeting a few of her needs. Clean yourself up, buck up, bulk up, and take her out now and them—even if it means buying her shoes and foregoing that tenth child.