Conjugating fuck

Dear Miss Havana. My boyfriend and I have been arguing over the most used word in the English language, and perhaps you can help us resolve the issue. As a former teacher, can you tell me if the word “fuck” can be conjugated? Very Truly Yours, Grammarian in Georgia.

Dear Grammarian. Hell, yes, but that word usually more closely associated with copulation than conjugation. What’s more, fuck is the only word in the English language that retains its meaning regardless of prefix, suffix, tense, or usage. It can be a verb, noun, gerund, or just about anything else, but there can be a problem if it’s a dangling participle. Furthermore, application of the word is limited only by one’s imagination. For example, prefucktroily, would be routine fucking, while a prefucker is someone who will screw you, but not in a good way, no matter what. Imagination is the key.